It has been sometime since I have come to put words to thoughts on virtual pages. Life has picked up to such a speed that I gasp for Breath to sustain and utter the Word in hopes that they alone are enough to keep me upright! I thought and wrestled daily with hearing God’s voice. Wrestled with KNOWING His will for ME. That seemed selfish yet deeply selfless because there is no SELF in God…there is US…there is three-in-one. SO knowing HIM means knowing US. I longed to let go long enough of protecting myself and grasping His will for US. I thought that was hard. Hours of waiting, praying and pouring over the Word.
Part of knowing His will, His design, His way was distinguishing between Him and me. I sifted through my life and acknowledged all the things I thought and felt that seemed true but were mere lies. Sifting through lies was hard. There were a lot of tears and grief as I looked at reality for what.it.was. That was hard. Then it happened, I was brought into the light, the glorious light of HIS presence and my new existence as HIS child. That was WORTH all the hard. Every painful step, worth it.
Now?!?! I hear His will, His calling and I am following. In the light I thought it would just be victory and joy…and that’s that. Only God did not take me right off this earth and plant me in heaven to enjoy Him presence and love FOREVER. No, I am here...purposely here for a work. And guess what, work is hard. Remaining here on this earth means looking at death and decay and that is painful. It means plucking up weeds and slaying dragons…that is really hard. SO how, how can I DO all this…now being in the light seems more unsafe and harder than being in the dark afraid. THIS place demands courage and strength…something I lack much of. This is hard. Very hard. I do not think until the returning and plucking and recreating earth it will get ANY easier. That leaves me here in the hard to just DO what He calls me to DO and I want something HE promised through it all…JOY.
“Be blessed with living worthy of the Lord, honoring and pleasing your Father always by the way you live. Be blessed with heavenly desires to continually do good things for others out of the well-spring of the Spirit. You were created in Christ Jesus for particular purposes, which God prepared in advance for you. Jesus, the True Vine, says to you, “Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. This is to my Father‘s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that remains” (John 15:4,8,16).” (The Father’s Business Devotional)
As I remain here in the dark decay of selfish prideful death on earth, I have to remain in HIM to have LIFE. I have to obey His will and REMAIN in His love. Every time I see a wall so big, a army so mighty…remain…Every time Fear comes to choke life and love right out of my person…remain…Every time the waves come unrelenting and I am struggling to breath…REMAIN…Because remaining is Breath, Victory, Love, Truth and a POWER that OVERCOMES death. The best part for me in this place of hard pressing on in the fight is that I can actually have JOY in it.
May you be blessed with knowing His will for YOU.
May you be blessed with seeing His way.
May you be blessed with obeying His call.
May you be blessed with deliverance from yourself.
May you be blessed with deliverance from your enemies.
May you be blessed with KNOWING His love FOR you.
May you be blessed with REMAINING in His love.
May you be blessed with JOY.